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My name is Jamey and I am only four, My stepmom must hate me, otherwise why would she lock me up in the basement, behind cupboard doors? She leaves me in there for hours at a time It is so dark and scary, I could loose my mind I cannot get out to go to the bathroom so I have to pee and poop on the other side. When she finally comes back to let me out she pulls down my pants and beats my bare bottom with a belt because I have left a big mess and let the bad smell out She locks me away in the bathroom, attic and basement well away from staff's prying eyes She leaves me alone in my misery I don't let her see the fear or know that I cried As I grew older, the abuse did not end I was put in a childs home for bad boys with problems Child abuse, sexual, verbal, bashings and bullying, does this kind of hurting ever end? These boys care was provided by the State Their folks did not have the money to pay. I was paid for by my rich parents to keep me away from my stepmom who would hurt me if I stayed. Where was my father and what has he to say? Why was he quiet, surely he was aware that something was amiss Was his love for his new bride more important than me Why didn't he stand up and protect me from this? I was not allowed to play with my brothers and sisters or go out to play with the other kids on the block I had to stay home and play all alone, I read lots of books and played with my blocks Or I was given some pocket money and dropped off down town I went to the movies and spend the whole day there Playing in the arcades, watching one movie after another in solitude and away from my sisters and brothers When I came home at vacation My dad, stepmom 2 older brothers and 3 stepsisters drove away I was left at home and was not taken. I was devastated, overwraught and overcome My heart was broken, my spirit nearly broken I cried out to God why has this happened As my mind was completely shattered What did I do wrong to make my stepmom hate me like this? she drove out her eldest daughter away from the family out from the house, no one speaks of this sister, it's all a great mystery, secret as if she didn't exist I am now an adult, and they have never been charged this has been silent abuse that went on for years Their rich friends and neighbours did not know I existed you may think I am OK now - yet there are still scars Amanda Martin-Shaver © 
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